Creative Planker Award; In the Lagos Flood

Planking; [verb] To lie down flat with arms to the side mimicking a wooden plank and usually in unusual locations. Activity not completed until picture posted on the internet and friends ooh and aah or hiss! (Feistionary)

All month long, it has clogged my news feeds; Twitter and Facebook (follow me on Twitter if you aren’t @chocberry). I’ve seen all sorts of pictures.

Like Funke Akindele’s suliaish pose

 

or Dr Sid’s extreme silliness.

  

or @Lagoshunter who is perhaps showing us how he would like to lie in his grave with that dangerous 3rd Mainland bridge stunt

Oh well, at least it was voluntary. But consider involuntary planking. A situation where you have no intention of planking but find yourself planked. Like the one we’ve been seeing all week long. A man is plonking knee deep in flood water and all of a sudden , he misses his step and plonk, er actually plank ...in the water. Now, that’s a creative plank. Picture an Olympics swimmer, only that the water all around is brown, muddy hyacinth infested water.

The rains in Lagos this year have been out of this world. I have to bite my tongue when I want to complain because I really do remember that I learnt seasons in Geography. Did y’all learn it? Yeah... they said the rainy season in Nigeria is April-July, then August Break .. rain resumes till Nov, dry season begins  December till March. So, I might as well save my breath for things I can change.

The only  planking I’ll really be doing now is planking before the Lord and there can be no pictures because God is a spirit (You knew that , right?) J

I plank before thee, Oh Lord of the rains.

I plank before thee, Oh Lord who answers the prayer of farmers in abundance.

Me and all of Team Feisty plank before thee, oh Lord, Rain your blessings upon us! Amen.