I used to hate choosing. It's the reason why I hated shopping. Going up to department stores and looking at racks and racks of clothes, my mind would go numb because I couldn't get myself to make a decision.
I was the kind of person who would say "anything" with a wry shrug in response to "what would you like".
So I usually got anything. Bought any clothes. Let the stylist do anything with my hair. Ordered anything at the restaurant. Because, I simply had a problem with choosing.
Another thing I used to do well was let people make decisions for me.
"Oh, Akan, which one would you take?"
"Just pick anyone you like, I'm fine with your choice", I would respond to my current choosing contractor.
I abdicated the responsibility of decision making because I thought that as long as I didn't make the choices personally, I couldn't be held responsible for the fall out. But I was wrong. I was. It was my body, my life after all.
In making what you would call big decisions, I've always been a bit impetuous. I reasoned that by deciding quickly, I could get over the stress of thinking and wondering and analyzing. The what ifs. Argggh. I really hated those. It didn't always work out. Sometimes it did. Like when deciding whether to pray or not. I just did. It's always good to pray. But sometimes, not thinking through my decisions have landed me in hot soup. But at the time, I didn't know I turned on the temperature by not thinking through.
I. Am. Now. A. Changed. Person.
I realise now that we are all products of our daily choices; big and small. What that has meant is that I've had to learn the art of decision making. Ah, yes, it's an art apparently.
One of the most important aspects of this is knowing and clarifying what is best for you. So, essentially, everything you do is deliberate because you have a set of guidelines in front of you. Of course flexibility is needed, but even that is within predetermined limits. So you keep asking, "how far am I willing to go?"
If you decide to become the third wife of an Alhaji, it had better be what you planned to do. But I digress.
All I'm saying is you must know what is good for you. So what is good for you? Think about it. I'll continue this in a rejoinder. Stay with me!
I used to be the opposite - refusing to let other people make choices for me.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it can be good to share decision making with a trusted one
I love being responsible for my choices, whatever their outcomes, I still take responsibility.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, I let a trusted person in before making a dicision(very vital) but not without already having a picture of what I want to do in mind- with that, its easy to make an informed dicsion.
This reminds me of something a friend once wrote: "It's your life, stop getting sentimental about it ;)" It's your life, the choices made either by you or others are important.
ReplyDelete@N.I.L... It is nice to share decision making but more important to thoroughly understand the ramifications of those choices especially the ones made by others because you wouldn't be held less responsible, just because somebody made it for you or influenced you to make it.
ReplyDelete@nutrition alert... True
ReplyDelete@Temitayo... Indeed, it's your life, stop getting sentimental. Some of us actually act like this is a dress rehearsal rather than the mai thing.