What Knowing Can Do To Your Life

In my previous post, I was talking about making choices and how difficult that can be. I ended by asking you to think about what was good for you.

You’ve heard the phrase; ‘make an informed decision’, which presupposes that critical information is the bedrock of quality decisions.

This applies in little things as well as in big things. Do you know that the difference between looking like an old bag lady and looking like a queen (which everybody is capable of) will simply depend on the information of what your body looks like and how you can bring out the best from it?

The decision to order shrimps at Cactus will depend on the information of your stomach’s predisposition to sea food. If you are not informed about your allergies, you could end up with swollen eyes and itchy throat on an emotionally charged first date (like Will Smith in Hitch) and we don’t want that, do we?

So, we need to be informed about ourselves, our dreams, our aspirations. Choices become easier to make when there is information. What information do you have about that man/woman, or that business, or that academic program?

I will also not try to assume you should want what everybody wants you to want.

Deep down in your heart, you may really not feel like being successful. I think you should be though, successful that is. But it’s not my choice after all. You may just be content with being mediocre. But at least, it will be your choice. So when you’re sixty and you look back at your life, you can say, with no regret, “this is what I wanted.”

 Statistics tell us that the No 1 regret among the top five regrets of the death bed is: I wish I had the courage to live a life true of myself, and not what others expected of me. Bitter is the man who arrives at a destination he does not remember aspiring to reach. So if YOU want to be successful, please be by all means.

I know you may be wondering about all the “informed choices” you’ve made in the past that took you to places you did not intend. I’ll say, are you pretty sure they were informed? The right information? Ok, maybe.

Which brings me to my next point. Since you are not the only one in the world, and you have to interact with countless others and exist in relation to the forces of life, animate and inanimate, there is a high probability that the choices of others may affect the results of your own choices. So what do you do then, you ask.  

Make a fresh choice, baby! And each time, keep asking yourself, “what do I want”. Every moment is a choice and choices come together to form your life.

We’ll talk more soon. Remember to make a choice to nominate this blog http://www.berryfeistypen.blogspot.com/  for the Nigerian Blog awards at www.nigerianblogawards.com/register.php .  An informed choice, I’ll say.

Bless!

Is This What You Want?

I used to hate choosing. It's the reason why I hated shopping. Going up to department stores and looking at racks and racks of clothes, my mind would go numb because I couldn't get myself to make a decision.

I was the kind of person who would say "anything" with a wry shrug in response to "what would you like".

So I usually got anything. Bought any clothes. Let the stylist do anything with my hair. Ordered anything at the restaurant. Because, I simply had a problem with choosing.

Another thing I used to do well was let people make decisions for me.

 "Oh, Akan, which one would you take?"

"Just pick anyone you like, I'm fine with your choice", I would respond to my current choosing contractor.

I abdicated the responsibility of decision making because I thought that as long as I didn't make the choices personally, I couldn't be held responsible for the fall out. But I was wrong. I was. It was my body, my life after all.

In making what you would call big decisions, I've always been a bit impetuous. I reasoned that by deciding quickly, I could get over the stress of thinking and wondering and analyzing. The what ifs. Argggh. I really hated those. It didn't always work out. Sometimes it did. Like when deciding whether to pray or not. I just did. It's always good to pray. But sometimes, not thinking through my decisions have landed me in hot soup. But at the time, I didn't know I turned on the temperature by not thinking through.

I. Am. Now. A. Changed. Person.

I realise now that we are all products of our daily choices; big and small. What that has meant is that I've had to learn the art of decision making. Ah, yes, it's an art apparently.

One of the most important aspects of this is knowing and clarifying what is best for you. So, essentially, everything you do is deliberate because you have a set of guidelines in front of you. Of course flexibility is needed, but even that is within predetermined limits. So you keep asking, "how far am I willing to go?"

If you decide to become the third wife of an Alhaji, it had better be what you planned to do. But I digress.

All I'm saying is you must know what is good for you. So what is good for you? Think about it. I'll continue this in a rejoinder. Stay with me!