The Perfect Church: How Perfect?

I do not watch movies very often and so it was a bit strange that after my best friend and I had walked the length and breadth of the Palms shopping mall, and treated ourselves to plates of steaming Nandos rice and chicken, our minds would race at the anticipation of watching a good flick at the Genesis Deluxe cinemas.

Tottering under the weight of extra large popcorn  and soda which I really should stop drinking, we went up to the ticketing counter.

The choice was between the Perfect Church and the Tourist; and after minutes of deliberating on the need to encourage Nollywood and its new marriage with cinema houses, we exchanged our precious one thousand five hundred naira for tickets for the Perfect Church.

The Perfect Church is a story about a group of people whose lives are interwoven in certain ways. There is Ramsey Nouah who is the pastor of a large, successful church, Funmi Akindele (Jenifa) who is a lead chorister in the church but who also sleeps with Senators and big men, Ngozi Ezeonu and Hakeem Rahman;  a couple in the church who are potrayed as perfect but have skeletons in their cupboards, Yinka Olukunga ; a church member who is attracted to the Pastor and wants to marry him and Olu Jacobs, a bishop in the region who brings a message of mercy and deliverance to the church.

The movie starts off with a scene of a singing session in the church led by Funmi Akindele. During this scene, it is pretty obvious that she is miming the song and it doesn’t really seem natural.

The producers thereafter go on to introduce the going ons in the characters' lives.

Funke Akindele is shown in a hotel room with her senator lover; Yinka Olukunga is shown 'toasting' the Pastor; Hakeem Rahman is shown insulting his wife at home while the woman, Ngozi Ezeonu flashes back to her past and it is shown that she was formerly married to Norbert Young and that they had children together. Norbert had been indiscrete and abandoned her and that’s why she ended up with Rahman. So..AHA!! she wasn’t  really married Rahman and was just a live in lover with children for him.

The Perfect Church explores the themes of the pseudo spirituality that goes on in the lives of many people, the sexual identity struggle as evidenced by the internal musings Ramsey, the Pastor keeps having about his homosexuality, the struggles families face when exposed to infidelity and the holier than thou attitude church goers have that makes them too quick to cast the first stone at sinners.

Throughout some of the scenes in the movie, the poor picture and sound quality are apparent especially in the choir singing scenes where the solo singers always sound like they are screeching.

The movie progresses when the Bishop, Olu Jacobs comes to visit and brings the church the message of deliverance and maercy and after many things have happened to these people  along the course of their lives , they eventually realize that they are not perfect after all.

First of all, I believe Ebi Akpeti, the writer of the story may have done a good job with the narration of her story; the drama, conflict and the resolution were all apparent from the film, but I’m afraid Wale Adenuga Productions did not do a poor job of adapting it to film.

The picture quality was dismal to say the least; Funmi Akindele, the choir leader in this movie acted in a red blouse for some of the scenes, and the poor camera used distorted the color such that it became a blurry cross between tomato red and Tasty Time red.

The use of unnecessary flashbacks often proceeded by a deafening piano key thump just about drove me crazy. As a fiction writer, we are told to avoid the unnecessary use of flash backs and to rather work at incorporating the back story into the ongoing action to prevent a dissipation of built up action.

The Perfect Church defied all such admonitions and instead went on to flash back to almost everything that happened in the past to Ngozi Ezeonu's past and her former marriage to Norbert Young, Akeem Rahman and his former marriage which he hid from his new wife Ngozi.

Yet another problem with this movie is its cursory treatment of such important themes like homosexuality and the grace and forgiveness of God. I do understand that the producer thinks homosexuality is a sin, therefore the need to show Ramsey Nouah commiting suicide after having been found out, but I don’t think that the scene could have affected anybody who is a homosexual except to cause a further hardening of the heart.  

Some highlights of the film may be the stellar acting of the actors especially Olu Jacobs, Funmi Akindele and Ramsey; the dialogue also was quite good and real. Hakeem Rahman’s first wife introduced some Yoruba adage in a scene when she was cursing him and this added to the local flavor of the movie.

When I brought out my palm top halfway through the movie and proceeded to chat on Facebook, I decided then that something must either be terribly wrong with a girl who refuses to milk her one thousand five hundred naira dry or something was fundamentally wrong with ‘The Perfect Church’.

There was a chance to make a real, intelligent impact here, but I’m afraid the producers failed. I would only recommend this film to others so that they can confirm if I am exaggerating my cynicism or just telling the bitter truth.